Let Me Be Clear
The echo of your laughter
pierces my ears with surprising
volume and subtle force.
It remains with me long after
you're gone, for I carry it around
in my shirt pocket.
It doesn't way me down
but I know it's there
with it's eternal mocking;
it's forever knocking at my door,
no stranger to me
than the tears that seep
through the thin armor
that covers my heart.
The rapping, the tapping, the stabbing
of your voice--it numbs me to my core.
If you're even aware,
you probably think I'm oblivious,
but my guess is you're blind--
concealed by pride and surrounded by the crude
others just like you.
I'm submerged deep in your pool
and treading water with all my strength.
I know you think I don't understand
but I'm not the fool.
I've built this wall for a reason,
and I won't let it fall now.
It stands tall towering over me,
but I can see.
I will overcome the freeze
of wintry storm, for the numbness
never last long. Seasons always change,
and the rage in me stews and boils
with a heat much like molten lava.
I keep it suppressed because I've seen
what it's capable of.
Just one single ember can reduce you to ash
and silence you forever.
No more laughter. No more echo.
No longer would I have to wonder
or be coerced into the spark that initiates your flame.
But if truth be told, you're nothing,
just cinder that remains.
You're a pawn in this ruthless game.
I choose to play.
It's brutal and surly and unrelenting,
but it's the only way I know how to survive.
I hear the echo and somehow
it gives me peace of mind.
My silence is my protection,
and I'll share with you only the reflection.
I can talk but you won't listen.
Let the silence sound your recognition.
Copyright © Gabrielle Nesiba 2011. All rights
reserved.